What’s the best way to be happy and successful? What do most happy and successful people have in common?
If you answered “money,” or anything to do with meditation or networking skills, you’re off the mark, according to Jason Butler, a former financial planner who is currently working as a motivational speaker. He says that after reading biographies of political, business, scientific and charity leaders, and hearing the personal stories of several hundred financial planning clients, one factor tends to be present in the happiest, most successful individuals, and it’s entirely in your control: who you surround yourself with. Call it your “association factor.”
There are several dimensions to this. If you’re an athlete who wants to improve your fitness or skill level, hanging out with (competing with) superior athletes will do more to help you ‘up your game’ than if you were associating with people you can beat without breaking a sweat. If you employ or work alongside people who have a diligent and service-oriented attitude, you can delegate work, avoid micromanaging, and feel confident that the workload will be shared fairly. If your social circle is full of people who are pessimistic, negative, defeatist or cynical, then it will pull you into pessimism or defeatism. We all know people who suck the life out of anybody they’re around. Why let it happen to you?
Butler says that cultivating meaningful personal relationships with the right types of people should be an essential priority for anyone who wants to live a meaningful, fulfilling, successful and happy life—which basically means all of us. You should consciously try to surround yourself with people who are optimistic, positive, capable and excited about the future.
The interesting thing about this advice is how few people seem to be intentional about their friendships. Most of us make friends by happenstance, because we shared an experience together or have something in common. Consciously creating a circle of friends, and constantly looking for business relationships that will be productive and supportive, is not often a priority.
But it can be, and the results could be dramatic.